I’m a fan of the Weirdos Book Club podcast with Sara Pascoe and Cariad Lloyd, though I don’t always agree with their take on books. For instance, both hosts loved My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Otessa Moshfegh, which I found…meh. So when they heartily recommended Big Swiss by Jen Beagin I couldn’t be sure I would like it. But it’s a comedy about a relationship that starts at a dog park, so I at least knew dogs would feature heavily. And it would hopefully be a light read. I’d say it achieves those things. And I did like it, though I wouldn’t go so far as love.

Big Swiss is sort of a love story, but it’s more about sex than romance. It’s certainly not sweet or romantic. It satirises life in the rich New York town of Hudson. And it’s very funny.

Greta lives in a falling-apart old farmhouse with her friend Sabine, her dog Piñon and a few thousand bees. She works from home transcribing audio of the local sex therapist’s sessions. It’s all supposedly anonymised but in their small community she often recognises the voices of patients. Lately she has become obsessed with the sessions of a new patient she nicknames Big Swiss, a woman who she knows is tall and Swiss.

When she encounters the real-life Big Swiss at the local dog park Greta really should walk away. After all, she knows an awful lot about this woman’s private life, including some deeply disturbing stuff. But Greta was already on her way to being infatuated before they met. She half-heartedly tries to push Big Swiss away but that just tangles her up in even more lies and half-truths.

Both women are fucked up in their own way. Greta is aware that she’s being creepy, that she’s taking advantage of knowing Big Swiss is unhappy and unfulfilled in her marriage. But Big Swiss is playing games too.

“The only person more disheveled than Walter was Sabine’s eighty-six-year-old father, Seymour. His rusty Fiat pulled into the drive way as it did every afternoon without fail. Since Seymour seemed made of a combination of wax and papier-mache, it was always unsettling to see him behind the wheel. On a good day, he bore a strong resemblance to Gene Hackman. On an average day, a wax effigy of Gene Hackman from Madame Tussaud’s. On a bad, a ghoulish funeral effigy of Gene Hackman from an underground chamber of horrors.”

While the book isn’t written in first person, it’s a close third person that feels like it reflects Greta’s viewpoint above all. Which includes her dry, often cruel, sense of humour.

I like how matter of fact the narrative is about these women’s bisexuality, that it isn’t a big revelation. I like most of the weird details of Greta’s life, and Sabine’s quirks. I like the dog Piñon, who is described in ways that make me certain Beagin is a dog owner and lover. And I loved the transcripts dotted through the text, with Greta’s commentary interspersed as she types them up.

“And so, they’d adopted a dog…His original owner had dropped dead; Piñon had nowhere to go. All he really required was several hours of exercise per day and to be made the centre of their universe. They signed the papers…His kisses were dry, sweet perfection. His breath smelled like licorice. She’d never known such pure and uncomplicated love. Her life, pre-Piñon, seemed like a formless fog. What had gotten her out of bed in the morning? How had she lived?”

On reflection, Greta’s relationship with her dog is another early indication of her obsessiveness. While I fully support loving your dog to bits, there is a point where it becomes…weird.

What I didn’t enjoy was Greta’s racism. I get that we’re not necessarily meant to like her, but it seemed a bit extreme and no-one ever calls her on it. At least everyone who finds out about it agrees her relationship with Big Swiss is unethical. But it felt like for much of the novel, the narrative is more judgemental of Sabine being a bit odd, despite the fact she has her life together enough to own a house (albeit one that’s falling down).

With all those reservations, I still enjoyed the ride. This was a quick and funny read, and as long as you don’t need to like your main character, I guess it’s okay for them to be a bit awful.

Published 2023 by Simon & Schuster.

Source: birthday present from Tim.